Thursday, June 19, 2008

Just a quick one

I ended up driving to Chicago Tuesday night to pick up a sick husband. We stayed the night there (which wasn't as restful as it could be) and then left Wednesday morning to come back home. I think it has helped Paul feel better to be at home, no matter how messy it is, or what not, home is home. Right? :)

Other news... Paul's sister had her baby on Tuesday at 6:10 PM. His name is Donovan, and he is just so cute. I finally saw pictures today from Kelly (my mother in law). It's funny how things work out sometimes. Kelly was there visiting for the baby shower and was going to come back home to Wisconsin on Sunday. Well they get to the airport and are about to drop her off, when Jenny (my sister in law) begins to have contractions. Well they hop into the car, Kelly misses her flight and they go to the hospital, only to be told that they weren't coming fast enough, go back home. So the next day Jenny goes to work, and at 5 or so Wisconsin time, we get a call saying that Jenny's water broke. We really didn't hear anything else until later on Tuesday saying that the baby was here. Today i got to see pictures of him, he is a cutie, he has a head full of hair, big bushy hair like his grandpa Phil. :) And probably he gets it from his Daddy as well. From what Kelly says, Jenny didn't take any meds, and didn't cry the whole time. She pushed for 4 hours, and just stayed really positive while having to at the same time hear women down the hall screaming bloody murder. LOL it's funny how some women deal with this pain we are given. The pains of labor but the blessing of the children. I can't wait *blissful sigh*

On a sadder note, my friends Mom sent each of us close friends a package of the funeral information. It had the readings from the funeral and the service order. I thought I had it all together, I haven't been crying over the last few weeks, I have been keeping it together, but with reading through those papers... I have seemed to find the tears again. All of the sayings are true, you really don't know what you have until it's gone. It was good to read what her parents had read at the funeral, their own account of the last few years when she was sick. She was such a beautiful person, loving and caring, and just a wonderful woman. I truly can say that not a day goes by where I don't think of her. Most of the time I am fine, but other times I sob. I think to myself, "I wish..." and then I stop, and don't know what to wish for. I want her to be alive, but I also know that her life in the end wasn't a good one, she was haunted by visions, and hallucinations. I don't wish that on her again. I will be glad that she is no longer being tortured on this world. It's just hard. These past three weeks have been the longest ever, and also the shortest. 3 weeks yesterday I got a phone call that was shocking, today I am still shocked. Feel like maybe it didn't happen, but the pain and sadness haven't gone away.

On that note, I am going to go to bed. Have to go to work in the morning, need to be able to focus and get my job done. Night.


Susan said...

>Most of the time I am fine, but other times I sob.

Oh, Cassie, that's the way it's going to be. You can get along fine for quite a while, and think you're "getting over it," and then something sneaks up on you and whops you again. And you cry. But that's okay. You cry and then you go on. Here I thought I was doing pretty good and was "over" Pr Wiest's dying. But in April we drove to campus where he used to live and work, for a lecture on campus that he would've loved to have been at, and I got all moisty-eyed again. And Thursday night at symposium (Thursday was always Pr Wiest's night to preach) Pr Bender was wearing Pr Wiest's red chasuble, and we sang two hymns that we sang for Pr Wiest's funeral, and it all just got me bigger than I think it should've. But you cry. And then you go on. Until the next time.

Cassie said...

True, I will have to just know that it will hit me when I least expect it. Thanks.

Lukey's Mommy said...

I am so sorry that you have to go thru this grieving process... I am sad that I won't see Amanda anymore. But on a brighter note- (maybe you shoulda separated these into 2 blogs lol)... congrats on your new nephew! I bet you both are really excited about him. Where does this baby live? And can you email me some pics?