Thursday, March 10, 2011

Formal Apology to Friends

So I know many of you are going to say "Cassie you don't need to apologize we understand" but I feel like I should give some kind of written thing to those who want to read it.

I am sorry for being awkward in social situations, for not having much to talk about, or even if I do have things to talk about for not talking about them without stuttering, or looking uncomfortable.

I honestly do want to talk to people, seriously I crave being around people... but I also have a hard time being around people. It sucks really. My mind feels like it is filled with feathers or something, especially when around people. Even around my best friends, I just don't know what to talk about anymore. Some people I talk to just fine... (very few people... sister, mother, friend Ree, friend Clare) ... and others I feel awkward around... I don't know... that's it. So good night!


Susan said...

Just be around. Over time, the discomfort will subside. It will take a while, but that's okay. You don't have to be all chatty. That will probably come back eventually.

(And, yeah, you're right. It's not something you need to apologize for. But if you want to, that's okay too.)

Cassie said...

Thanks Susan. I figure the more I chat with people probably the better. I mostly haven't felt like talking about our miscarriage, except through online medias, cause it just makes me uncomfortable so I just don't unless I am feeling particularly extra chatty.

But I figure since I will be actually seeing some of you who read my blog, it's best to just say that I don't feel like the old me and probably won't ever be the old me again, so therefore I will act a bit differently, not so much that people wouldn't recognize me but enough that I feel like I am wearing someone else's clothes... trying to be someone else. It is difficult and uncomfortable. but I am glad that most of my friends would understand this and just let me be as I needed to be. Thanks for that! :)