Today I found out that one of my good friends from college passed away. She was having a hard time emotionally and really suffering from depression and some other mental illnesses. Her parents took her to the hospital on Monday and somehow she committed suicide while in the hospital. I don't quite understand how that could happen in a place that is supposedly secure and supposed to be there to help you. I am kind of in a daze at the moment, shocked and so sad, oh and filled with regret.
I wish I had been there for her more than I was, that I hadn't gotten so focused on myself and my life here in Wisconsin. She was one of my best friends for the three and a half years I was in college, we stayed in contact for a good year or so after that. Then gradually the time between talking to each other became longer and longer. That is what I regret the most.
I will have faith in God's word, in her baptism, and in the promise we receive from God. Boy is it hard though.
Paul helped me with my questions of why, how and why. He explained it in a way that helped me understand some of the whys. He said that we as humans have a hard time dealing with our own sin, and we fall to our sinful nature all the time. He also said that along with that we have the devil here working as hard as he can to make it even harder for us. With all that going against us, the world is a hard place to live in, and it is only with the Grace of God that we are able to even live in this world. I may have butchered what he said, but that is kind of the gist of it.
I don't really know what else to say without going in circles of all the things I have already said. I just needed to share with people. She was a sister away from home, a friend through hard times, and will always be missed and loved by me and many others.