Well a day later it still doesn't feel good, I don't think I will ever feel good.
I was able to find some comfort last night, Pastor called and reminded me of that time in the movie Luther when the young man committed suicide and what Luther had said. I can't quote it right now. But talking to Pastor helped. I also read over the sermon from Sunday (since we were in Indiana and not at church, Pastor sent us the sermon, which I really appreciate) and there was this part where he talks of Lazarus and his death.
"Nonetheless the beggar Lazarus did die. And God used his death to deliver him into life. He brought him out of his torment, out of temptation, and freed him at last from all sins and trials. He was transferred from sores and hunger to eternal bliss at Abraham’s side. Death was the last opportunity for the devil. Now Lazarus, having died completely to this life, lives in Christ Jesus. And the devil has no more tries. Satan can no longer tempt and haunt him and hurt him in any way. The devil threw everything he had at Lazarus, until he died. That is why it was his last opportunity. Death shuts the devil’s mouth once and for all. While we live, the devil has at us. And always his temptations are either to get us to believe that God is just or that God is unjust. Either way, we’re in trouble."
This made me realize that she had a lot coming at her, I mean really not only do we have our own sins but we have the devil working all the time. It is a wonder any of us are able to live as long as we do.
Hopefully with going to work I will get plenty to distract me from the sadness of it. I hope I am not a mess at work and that I am able to get something productive done.
Thanks for the prayers.