Thursday, May 14, 2009


Tomorrow my mother in law comes to visit. Not sure how this is going to work with Paul's sister not talking to him... I guess this will be a test of how family functions will work in the future.

I just hope I don't cry the whole time. Just thinking about it now makes me sad, very very sad and there's nothing I can do but pray for a change. It's been a few weeks since I have really thought about it or cried about it, just thinking about it now is making me cry. I feel helpless, like there's nothing I can do to change any of this.

Paul tells me not to worry about it, so I try not to but I can't help but think about it sometimes. I am going to try and distract myself today with cleaning and hope that helps some.

Paul's aunt is pregnant and going to be having her baby any time now, I am excited about that. We don't see them that often since we have moved here, I am hoping that changes over time. I really would like to get to know Paul's family better. His family behaves so much differently than mine. My family is around all the time, and everyone knows what is going on with everyone, you barely go a week without talking to someone who has talked to one of the others. I used to hate this about my family, hated that everyone knew what was going on with everyone else. Now I like it, I wish I knew what was happening with Paul's family more, that would mean we were talking more and doing stuff together more. I like that my family would get together often (at least for the holidays), you always got to see your cousins, aunts, and uncles a lot. When you marry into a family that doesn't celebrate holidays and don't talk that often to each other... it's hard to adjust sometimes. It was ok when we were in Wisconsin, cause we weren't near any family really, so I didn't notice it as much. But now that there's so much around, and so little getting together, it is sad. I kind of wonder if some of them don't realize that we have moved here. I don't really know how to get in contact with some of his family, so I will have to figure that out eventually. I kind of know where they live, I know Paul knows where they live, so maybe we might have to just drive over there one day.

Anyways, I need to clean, distract myself, but I just wanted to write a little... get some things off my mind. Later!

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