Blogging...

I want to blog differently. So far it's been kind of like me documenting my life. But honestly going over all that has happened since I last blogged... well it bores me. Maybe it doesn't bore my readers... if I have any of those... but it does bore me. I read some blogs that are just so incredibly interesting... and others well I could take or leave them.

I don't know how to blog differently.

I could say... I love my job. I just started last week and it's so nice. Even my sister says I sound happier... that's good. :) This year is going to be hard, so it's good to have a job that I enjoy.

Two weeks from now will be the one year mark since we lost Christopher. I know a lot of people don't know the pain of losing a child, it's hard to describe how you feel. Some days you are fine, others you feel like your insides are trying to work their way out, your skin is crawling and itchy and you just wish you were in another body, another life, you want to throw yourself down on the bed or ground and just cry until you can't cry anymore, sometimes you even do that but usually the crying doesn't last very long, then you just feel numb and tired.

So thankfully I now have a job to help distract me from these lovely feelings. I've made some good friends in my new department. Have reunited with some old friends, and am trying to work out some of those relationships... hard when you switch departments... the dynamic changes. But I know that I am where I need to be, this feels right, like putting on an old sweater... comfortable... except perhaps not exactly like that since there are new things.

Me working changes things around the house here, Paul and I need to work on a schedule. Who makes what food, and when and such. I think we are doing pretty well at it now. We'll see how things end up in the future, but for now I am happy with how things are working out.