Monday, July 13, 2009

More thoughts on family stuff

Well if you have been reading my blog, you know that Paul's sisters are both Jehovah Witness's, and you know that Paul was one 4 years ago and then he stopped and joined the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. Well you would also know that on April 17th, 2009 his younger sister came to the decision to stop hanging out with Paul. Another thing you would know is that his younger sister and her husband are our bestest friends and the only place in the world we would want to be is near them. Pre-April 17th, 2009 we would hang out at least 3 times a week since we had moved here in mid March, so about a month of hanging out all the time. Now it's been 3 months and no changes have happened. If anything they seem to be moving on pretty well by being content in just being with themselves and with hanging out with other Witness's. Great, they aren't upset about not talking with or hanging out with Paul. Great. :(

This morning it just hit me the wrong way reading a twitter that my sister in law had posted. I have decided to not do my twitter account anymore, that's really my one connection to his family and it upsets me to read twitters about how happy they are and content they are with their lives that are clearly missing Paul's company. The best thing about that first month we were here was seeing how happy Paul was to be near his best friend and his sister who he loves so much. I think about our kids and I wonder how well they will know each other when we have them. The nephews and nieces that Paul won't know because of this. I don't think I mentioned that they are still talking to me, but it's hard to go over there, hard to see them without Paul. I do it out of love though. People keep telling me that I should stop talking to them until they start talking to Paul... well yes that's my first instinct, and it would be something done out of hate and revenge, and not love as God tells us to behave.

I don't know why this hit me today so hard, most days I just go on and don't even think about it. Today I am having a hard time coping. Unfortunately I can't just sit in my misery, I need to somehow get past this today and work towards being able to see them. We are sharing a CSA box so I will have to see them on Wednesday when we get it... maybe by then I won't be so upset. I will pray and trust in the Lord to bring the truth of his word to my family(Paul and I included in case we are reading incorrectly).

Slightly different topic... I can't believe we have already been here 4 months. It seems like yesterday that we were packing up the truck and getting ready to leave Wisconsin. So far I like it here, we haven't had a lot of good Washington weather. Although yesterday and today are great, overcast and cool. :) I went to wal-mart yesterday and it was sooooo hot in there. I felt like I was in a sauna, it was not fun. One awesome thing about my wal-mart here though, is that they have a fabric section! Hurray! I love going in there and seeing if they have any cute cotton remnants for sale, yesterday they did, 4 of them. Interesting enough they two of them matched each other as well as the other two matching each other. All four of them together would have been bad, but I see a potential quilt one day out of these. I need a better way of organizing fabric... right now everything is in my closet, which doesn't seem to be the best way cause I am running out of space. I think I will try moving my "real" clothes down to another location and just having the shelf in my closet just for fabric. That might be the best choice.

Ok so anyways, I've managed to distract myself with fabric talk... lol. I suppose that's a good start to feeling less miserable about other situations. Hope everyone else is having a great Monday. Time to play Monday Monday... :)


Tonya's Sewing Room said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. I hope somehow you'll find peace in the current situation or somehow it will change for the better. If you ever want to chat, let me know. I'm available most of the time. HUGS

Mee a Bee said...

:( hugs