Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cranky, Grouchy, Moody... blah!

I am all of the three (four) things mentioned above.

1. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed... even though it was the same side I always wake on, today it happened to be the wrong one.

2. I can't seem to go into a room without wanting to scream or throw something... or everything. *sigh*

Question is why? I don't know.
Lots of potential reasons... Aliens have abducted my body and replaced it with some crazy person.... or it's just a temporary hiccup in my hormones... hopefully it will balance out soon or perhaps pregnancy... but I doubt that one, hard to get pregnant when on the pill.

Lots of things that could be making me upset....
Aaron is still living with us... and I suppose that's ok except for the fact that I act like a crazy woman sometimes and he tends to be the focus of all my craziness.
I want to be pregnant could have something to do with it... lots of people around me having babies... perhaps it's pushing my hormonal balance off to the side by a whole lot... I don't know.
My cholesterol is slightly elevated and I am taking some fish oil ... perhaps it's my body adjusting to the Fish oil... doubt it... but eh.

Well anyways, parts of today were ok and parts were not so ok.. I will start with the end and probably end with the end because that's really the whole reason I wanted to write anything anyways.

So it ends with me in the recliner with the laptop on my lap having puffy eyes... before this moment I was having a silent screaming session and throwing of blankets/pillows session... and before that I was trying to get to sleep on the sofa while bawling my eyes out... before that... was in the recliner where I had started the bawling. Imagine the rewinding world now... coming down the hall... left the bedroom... was in bed with Paul before he decided I was being too cranky to be in the bedroom with him... me trying to talk to Paul about why the game we were playing with Aaron had been upsetting to me.... Paul trying to explain to me why me being upset was totally all my fault and none of his or Aaron's... Paul claiming to want to talk and asking me to turn towards him... me being annoyed and angry and not wanting to turn towards Paul.. pulling blankets up around me to keep me safe and warm and hidden from all around me... Paul entering bedroom to go to bed.

Does this still make sense? We have gone back in time about an hour or so at this point... Perhaps it would be easier now for me to start somewhere in the middle/end of my day.

I asked Paul if we could play Settlers of Catan tonight, I made the point to him that we hadn't played it in two weeks and I really wanted to play with him. So he said maybe. After we finished watching the end of Season 5 of House, he went back to the office and was talking to Aaron for a bit. He came out and turned off the Extras and told me that if I could have the board set up in 5 minutes then we could play Settlers. So I jumped up in my excitement, quickly ran to the closet and grabbed the game. Within 5 minutes the game was set up and we had rolled to see who would go first and off we went. Well let's just say that my setting up of the game was the fastest moving the game saw after that... I went first... so I rolled, did my turn and passed the dice. Paul was next and he looked at the board, thought for a bit, finally rolled the dice, asked for Wheat (or something else, can't remember)... looked at us expectantly like if he waited another minute then we would somehow miraculously have some wheat for him... finally he passed the dice. At this point the boys decide to talk about what music to listen to while playing the game (I have learned over the last 3 months that playing music during this game only makes it go longer... and it's more frustrating for myself). Once music is settled on Aaron rolls, Paul and I grab our resources... I say to Aaron "You rolled a 9 so that means you get Wheat and Mud." and I hand him his resources. He looks at the cards in his hand for awhile, then puts his cards down and starts complaining about life and how horrible things are for him with not having a job. yada yada yada is what I have to say about that! I look at him and wait... and wait... finally I say "Are you done with your turn yet?" and he looks down at the cards and then the dice and is like "Oh yeah my turn... yeah I am done." and finally hands me the dice. So again I roll and take my turn. "I rolled a 5 you get wheat Aaron" ... "oh right."

After the first set of turns I am asking myself... "why do I even play this game with Aaron?" He doesn't take it seriously and every single one of his turns was like what was described above.... until the one turn... in the middle of the game.

Aaron was looking at his cards and getting upset about having so many but still missing the one resource he needed to build his settlement. Well I tell him that if he wants, I can trade him some cards so that he can turn some in for a resource. He just gets more frustrated and doesn't say anything... so I think he doesn't understand what I am saying and try to explain again... well Paul starts getting frustrated with me for trying to talk to Aaron about how to play the game. So I decide... I've never quit at this game, ever.. but sometimes you just have to... so i got to quit and Paul yells out "I'll never play this game with you again if you don't come back here and finish the game." Ack so at this point I am thinking that would be bad, so ok I will come back. I come back while yelling about the frustrated things with this game... with Aaron playing this game... he doesn't take it seriously... and he hates playing it. Anyways, yes I handled that wrongly... eh whatever... I am a serious game player. The next turn or two are pretty serious, people are paying attention, it's quiet... and tense. Oops, didn't mean to make it that way... oh well.

After a little while Paul finally won so I could be done with the game... I went back to the bedroom pretty upset... mostly cause it's just so frustrating and I try to be patient... it just wasn't happening. When Paul came to bed I told him how I was frustrated... how Aaron doesn't like the game, how every turn took forever, how I felt like Paul was picking on me a lot during the game and how every time we play the game it is Paul's ultimate goal to make me lose. Well his response was... Aaron doesn't take the game serious, but he doesn't mind playing the game, he just isn't that good at it and the turns didn't take forever, they were no longer than a minute... and not everyone can be a card counter like you Cassie, and since Aaron doesn't play that well, then you are really my only competition.

Eh... blah... I have decided not to play that game with Aaron anymore. Actually not to play any board game with him ever again. He hates them and he's bad at them. It's moments like these I want to get my red magical shoes out and tap my heels three times. At home my family enjoys playing games... yes we are competitive, yes sometimes we get upset, but at least people don't quit that often and they try to win, even when they are down at the bottom of the totem pole. Perhaps if I hadn't woken up so cranky then I wouldn't have reacted so poorly to the game... I don't know.

I probably don't make any sense, and I probably just sound like I am complaining... but eh, perhaps I am just complaining. I'm in that kind of mood after all.

Did I ever tell you guys that Aaron is constantly sighing? It is very annoying... oh sorry, more complaining. Perhaps now that I am a little calmer, less throwing and crying ... maybe I can manage to fall asleep without getting upset again. I might have to turn on something on Netflix to help... Maybe I might go back to bed and be nicer to Paul... maybe he is ready for me to come back there. :(

Anyways... night and if you made it to this point, then wow... you really can handle my blah blah blahing at you. LOL