Sunday, September 4, 2011

Loves the pill from the hospital!

Well my milk has come in... sad but still an interesting process. I have been contemplating possibly getting a pump and doing the whole breastmilk thing... I think there may be a place here in Milwaukee area that accepts donated breast milk... or maybe I am making that up in my head. I don't know how much time I would have to think on this before it all goes away... but I will talk to my husband and do some research. Right now it is crazy painful and can I say huge?! I mean they weren't this big before baby or even while I was pregnant... now they are just crazy. Sorry if you don't want to hear about them... but it is a little bit strange.

The other thing... pain pills are nice, took a wonderful pill tonight and it's already making me nice and drowsy. Thank you! I really hate going to sleep sometimes, especially when you are still kind of awake but you know you should sleep. Laying down at that point only gives you more time to think about things, more times to cry about your losses, your babies that aren't in your arms or still in your belly. The other thing about being this tired and drowsy with the pills is that your eyes don't have the energy to cry... which is nice.

I don't know how to grieve this time... perhaps no one really knows how to you just do. I just want to get through a pregnancy, to have a baby and to love the baby, teach the baby and watch my baby turn into a grown person. I hope we don't have any issues in the future. Praying praying praying.

Anyways, night night world.


Sweats, Nikes, and No Make-up said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Cassie. I lost 2 babies before I had my Maddie. Praying that your body will heal quickly and that you will be able to give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby some day soon.


Mimi's home World said...

Check with the local LaLache League. They are the awesome breast feeding geniuses. Why? Cuz they are all volunteer moms.


Misty said...

In the midst of how devastating this is for you and your family I am personally so happy for you that your mild ducts work and that you will be able to breast feed your future child, that you WILL hold and love and watch to be come a grown person! I tried to breastfeed both of my children while in El Sal and since I had breast surgery in my early 20's that resulted in the separation of my nipples and the disconnect of ducts I was unable and could not find support like the LaLeche League overseas. It is veryyyy good news that you will have that ability! I can see in my minds eye you breastfeeding your baby-it WILL happen.